Tears slid down my face as I remember days of old. Why the memories I ask myself? Is it because I am getting older. Is it that I want someone to know the tragedies that occurred in my lifetime. So many that it could fill pages upon page of the largest book ever with the smallest font printable. Tears … Upon more tears. I am saying to myself … Why ??? Why now ??? Why again?? I lived through it once already. I have no answers. I just remember the pain, the shame, the humiliation and the overwhelming feeling of helplessness. Not knowing what to do or where to go for help. Even though I was a Christian … I knew not the extend of His power…His love, His grace.. I am not a victim. I am not a survivor !!! I am an overcomer. Perhaps God wants me to see how He took care of me during these lifetime of tragedies. To look back and see His unsearchable greatness. To witness to others that no matter the pain of this world His love does overcome it all. I am speechless and in awe of His keeping power. Sometimes it is easier to look down instead of looking up. Looking up to acknowledge that it hurt like hell but I am still standing. And I do have peace now as I look to Him. The enemy has caused so much pain… I don’t want to be afraid… I want to see His glory over my life.
To be secure in His protection. That is what I want. Maybe that is why the memories come. For me to see God’s glory in full display over all the tragedies that have occurred, it did not destroy me as the enemy intended it to do. I am here safe in His arms. Under His protection. Continually being held.