Too Much

It would all be too much if I did not have Jesus. I am living in the world but not of the world. So human yet I am so much more, a daughter of the most high. My life has been filled with moments of pain. The moments adding up to a lifetime of pain. Pain inflicted upon me by others and pain caused by myself. I laid awake last night asking God the what’s and whys of my life. I waited listening for an answer. My people perish for lack of knowledge, is the answer I heard. I must know him, love him, obey him to live in this world. He created me in his image, he is love. I am love. The real, the authentic love, the love that is so powerful that it sets me free. Jesus Christ is Lord. He is love, pure, holy is he. I strive to be so with it. Like the momma duck, having all her little ducklings in a row. What the heck, that is such an illusion. Wanting to present myself to the world as all put together. Vanity. Pride. Saying to myself I got this or worse yet saying I have to do this myself because no one else will. But the belief is wrong, so far off track. My God says I have you covered, he covers me with a shield of truth. Truth, he is truth. So in listening for his voice. The truth is with me always, there will be pain yet I am never alone. He is there. As I look for him, he reveals himself to me. I am so happy to see him and encounter him. It is me saying wow you did that for me. I am free to present myself to the world, broken, not shamefully. Just broken yet redeemed by the most powerful, living God. 

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