I am wanting to be fully committed to Christ. I question myself, what does that look like for me. I think that I am but am I really. No, I don’t meet religious standards. I don’t want to meet religious standards. I don’t want to strive to meet the rules, regulations of the church world. You know hide who I am. White knuckle my life to give appearances of having it all together. Cross off the millions of things list to look and feel like I have it together. I want to be an authentic lover of Christ. So I pray and seek him, asking what does that look like for me. To truly know him and to be so aware of his presence in me. Truly seeking to give him glory. To love him completely and to love others as he loves. God has a plan for me. He will lead me and guide.