I cannot believe I put myself out there to join a small group at this new church. I went last night to the first get together. I thought it went well. But obviously not. I know the gal leading the group has strong opinions. But I did not really feel I had to agree with everything she said. So I offered up my thoughts and feelings of how I dealt with stuff. Which was different than her ways of dealing with life. Anyway, I received an email saying don’t come back anymore. The email said I didn’t fit with this group of people. Whew!!! My reactions are hurt and anger. What the heck. I am not going to please everyone. And you know I am not even going to try. God does not want a people pleaser. All I can say is ouch!!!!!!
I have been visiting a church in my neighborhood for the past few months. It seems to be a healthy church. Which is what I need. It is hard starting over. The church is rather large in number so getting to know people is a little more difficult. The struggle is real. The struggle to connect, to be real. To be authentic. Yet, a part of me wants to slip in that back row to slip out easily. Wanting no connection. The truth is preached. And that makes me hungry for more. I would like a group bible study that included the history in the lesson. But I have not found such a group so far. Most of the groups are social in nature. I am committed to giving this a try. I realize being in a church body is good yet finding a place to belong is hard. The lord will lead me to where I need to be.
Today was to be a pool day. I woke up late due to a restless night of sleep. I decided I am not going to play in the water. I will just sit by the pool with my books, relaxing. As I was sitting under the umbrella the rain slowly came down. The air was getting cooler and it smelled so fresh. So I said to myself, you cannot pass this opportunity up. I quickly sat down in the rain with my face lifted up. The rain falling upon my face felt so good. As I sat there I prayed for God to cleanse me. To refresh me. It was a God moment for sure. I love the God encounters. Jesus my lord and savior. My hope.
I have a list running mentally in my head of things I want to accomplish. And on that list are things that just never seem to get done. And when I see it is not done, it bugs me. Like a reminder oh yeah that still needs to be done. So I said to myself let’s do this. So it began a crossing off items. First the parrot’s cage needed a make over. And since the toys can get pretty pricey. I had saved items to create some new toys. It took like 20 minutes to redo the cage. Now he is singing away as he plays with new toys.
And it looks pretty with all the colorful flowers on it. I have decided my life needs more color. On to the next item. A light for the toilet. Yep, a light that is movement activated. So it lights up rainbow colors when I get up in the middle of the night. It makes me laugh. I think it is so much fun. Everyone needs one.Even as I look at the photo it causes a giggle. Maybe I need a photo at night with the various colors lighting up. The garden was next, the wind chimes needed to be restrung. This is one of my favorite things, the sound it makes when the breeze moves it. It is so soothing. I still have two more to put up. And I have two humming bird feeders to hang. But all in all it was a good beginning of crossing things off that list. I am grateful for all the things I have and the creativity to do them. So grateful. The wreath on the front door, needed to be hung up after it received an update. All of this makes my little home a little cozier. Makes me smile. Thank you Jesus.